Suck my cock

“What do I need to do to get you to suck my cock??!??”

This was the most frequent response when I asked men at a sex club what’s going through their bodies and thoughts.

“Who can I connect with for some really good fun?  And I want to be safe.”

This was the overwhelming female response.  

Do you see and feel the difference here?

And we wonder why people don’t connect?

Now I realize that I’m in a position of power.  I can ask the difficult questions because my partner-husband-lover (he is all three plus more) and I were teaching intimacy and guiding sensual and sexual experiences with a large group.  These men and women were in a brief exercise to tap into what they want for real in their sexy lives and how to ask for it in a better way.   Most of them came with a long term or “for the night” partner.  Many people came solo.  This is where we started.  

Fast forward through some guided (clothing on) playful and consensual connection exercises for  self awareness and deep unity with others and the answers changed a bit.

“I want to be seen and desired by you.”

“I want to be appreciated and respected and I want your fingers inside me making me feel everything.”

“I want the best fuck of my life again tonight.”

“I want this man’s cock in my mouth.”

“I want you to play with my ass and prostate until I come hard on myself.”

“I want you to touch me with your fingertips from the top of my head to my toes… so slowly.”

“I want you to hold me and caress my breasts and penetrate me from behind when I say you can.”

“I want to learn how to lick her so well that she know I’m her sex goddess and always hot for her.”

“I want you to watch me get off with another man.”

“I want to be in love and desired and well fucked. I deserve that.”

“I want to be touched… here, like this.”

And what’s the difference between the first responses and these?

Well, the latter are way hotter and more real, right?

These requests and statements come from a place of not just looking at each other but seeing each other.  These were people who had just met all the way through 40+ year marriages.  Many of the long term partners said they had never before connected, talked or touched in the ways they did that night.

These requests come from the safety of good communication.  There is vulnerability here.  Trust.  “In this moment, we are deeply connected and I’m being real.”  

Try it.  Take a deep breath and notice your core self.  If you’re doing this exercise with a partner, try sitting or standing facing each other but not touching.  Just notice.  

Being a GREAT lover takes some practice, wisdom, vulnerability in learning new things and pushing your edges. Connection and trust are two components I love about sensuality and sex. Let’s meet there.

Tune in to the audio instructions here and let us know what you find.  We created this 11 minute practice to let you experience deep connection and sensuality with yourself, a partner or in a group.   


Do it differently.  Stop following boring patterns.  Be your sensual, whole, sexy, brilliant, vibrant self.  Yes, you can.  

Your vibrant life isn’t waiting for you.  

Live it.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo!

Tressa

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