Bored? Maybe You’re Just in Yoga Pants.

The NOT FUN trap.  Are you in it?  I was. Until two minutes ago.  I’ll show you how to get out of it, too.  Read on.


Are you in a boring pattern in your life? It goes like this. Maybe you recognize it:


You worry about paying for things.
You work or pray for a lottery win to pay for things.
You’re tired because you’re working or praying your ass off to pay for things.
You’re taking care of everyone (including plants, animals and people) before yourself and feeling run down.

And you don’t pay full attention to your relationship either because hey, the other person(s) a grown up, RIGHT??


Well guess what? It can go on like this for the rest of your life if you don’t take it by the horns and do something about it right this minute.

So here’s the secret plan.

A.  put on something sexy. I don’t care if it’s now sized oddly or the moths have eaten holes in it or there’s still that mustard stain you didn’t get around to when you tossed it in the closed last year/decade/lifetime. Put it on. Shake your money maker. Smile. Giggle. This is what instant fun feels like. Remember it? It’s good for you.

B.  Rub up against your partner in a way that suggests you remember what sex is and maybe want to experience it again for fun. If you’re not partnered or your partner doesn’t respond with wide eyed “YES” spasms, this is where you get to turn yourself on. Watch something that always gets you there or just daydream your dirtiest lover and put on an amazing masturbation show for them in your creative imagination. You’ve got skills and toys. Use them.

C.  Relax and breathe. Smile because you’re a sexy creature and worthy of feeling good. Super duper amazing good.

D.  Exhale.

Sometimes, I find myself in the trap. Not for long because I get bored easily. I noticed it tonight.

What did I do?

I put my yoga pants in the wash finally, put on the fitted black velvety gown (now super lint covered) I used to wear as a dominatrix and then to clean my house and lounge around in candlelight after the kids went to bed when I was still single, said a little “thank you” that it’s stretchy and I’m writing to you before I slink into bed next to my husband.

We have permanent consent to wake each other for sex. You know why? Because it’s sweet and sexy to be sensual and feel the desire for each other off schedule, randomly, in those moments of sleep-dream-waking into the adventure of living this life fully.

Live it. And let me know what you find.





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Goddess Manifesto

Take my breath away. Fully accept my intrigue and curiosity and inquiry. Make me giggle and swoon. Hold my desire in your belly and let it merge with yours until the entire room and building and ground and air are full and it’s all we can smell. See me and I’ll practice allowing myself to be seen. Let me see you and I’ll offer healing and compassion and whatever facet of infinite love is real and present in this moment.

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